I realized the other day, that the hardest time of the week for me is my day off. That is the day that my whole routine is thrown out of whack. It doesn't help that I have a split schedule with a Wednesday and Sunday off and my husband has Tuesday and Saturday off. This is great for daycare, we only need to pay a sitter twice a week, and my mother-in-law takes our little one on the third day. But, it makes family time a bit more difficult (we are working on changing this hopefully within the next year)
For my day off I find Sunday is easier, there is Church of course, and typically an event that needs attending and staying on top of my faith feels easier. The Wednesday is a whole other story. Typically on a work day I will get into the shower by 9:00 am at the latest (I don't work until 11:00 am, but don't get too jealous if you work earlier in the morning, I don't get much time with the little one at night, and eat dinner too late, since I don't get out until 7:30 pm) and I will pray in the shower. I will also take my time and pray in the car ride on my way to and from work.
I also take the time to pray and reflect for a 10-20 minute walk around my work building in the morning and for about 10 minutes during two breaks at work while I take a brief stroll.
This time is very important to me. The general routine of the workday works wonders for me.
On my day off during the week, except for when I take the time to write this blog and pray the rosary, I find myself almost lost as my schedule is thrown to the wind.
My daughter takes up a lot of my time, as she should, and cleaning the house of course, but I always feel like I do not have the time to reflect in the same way I do during my work day.
This sometimes makes it harder for me to get the time in for prayer, as I am making sure that everything at home is running smoothly.
I feel that I do not do enough volunteer or charity work at home, though I do a lot of crocheting and try to donate most of my finished projects.
I have always dreamed of being a wife and mother and feel this is my calling in life. But, not having the ability to be a stay-at-home-mom, in this two income world, I feel that I am not where I need to be.
For a while, whenever I had the free time (during naps especially), I would straighten-up as quickly as possible and make sure I got in at least one of my favorite shows. I still get that urge now, but instead of that being my first inclination, I make sure that I use my free time to benefit others, before myself.
This blog is just one of the ways that I make my day-off as useful as possible. I am tired of being selfish and worrying about mommytime.
I have been hoping, and praying, that with this blog I can at least help one person in the world, just one, and I feel that all of my time that I spend sharing my worries, thoughts, and triumphs, will pay off. Of course this does make me feel good too, but that is just a bonus, that is not the reason behind this, it should never be. I have come to realize, and the realization has made me further believe that my job on this earth is to be a wife and mother, is that I am not hear for myself. I am here to work for others and help them on this earth, even if just through the lives of my family.
I am not a saint, I am no where near one, but I am a believer that God has put everyone one on this earth for reasons big and small and that it is not up to us to decide if the role we are put into is "good enough" for us or not.
Sorry, I do not plan my posts out, an simply allow my thoughts to come through as they progress while I am typing and I can sometimes move from subject to subject quickly. Whoever, out there, is reading this, I just want to let you know that everyone is loved by God. There is no one, and I mean no one, who is out of God's love. He is the patient parent who loves his children and waits for them to return from their journeying, hoping that the love he has is enough to help you through the difficulties that lie ahead, hoping to see you again in heaven. Our journey's on earth are but a road map home.
If there is anyone else out there who is reading this, or any of my future posts, and is either struggling with their faith and needs someone to share their fears and doubts with, or anyone who just wants to share words of encouragement and faith so that everyone can hear, please don't hesitate to leave a note on this blog. This is not just for me, but for anyone who needs to know that they are truly not alone out there and someone else may be going through the same things that they are now, or have gone through the same things in the past.
Thank you all of listening and Gold Bless!
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